Don't Playah Hate
This weekend, forces from your Parkville Luminary will take to the softball fields of Lee’s Summit, Missouri, where we will face off against one of the scariest opponents we have ever faced – television journalists, namely those from the local FOX affiliate.
Already, the naysayers abound. “Your brand of journalism can’t possibly translate onto the field of play!,” they say, forgetting that my softball exploits on the intramural fields of Maryland remain legendary to this day.
Others express outright concern. “For goodness sake, Mark,” they say. “It’s too risky! Your staff could get hurt! Then where will we turn for local news?”
Looking over my team’s roster, it’s hard not to agree. We’re a co-ed squad but Nancy Jack, who every weekend canoes, goes on cross country hikes and is arguably our company’s best athlete, will not be on the field. Our reporter Alicia McGarry and her husband, both of whom claim to be some sort of soccer superstars, are otherwise indisposed. Friendly area journalists, like those snarky little reporters I love so much at The Pitch, have failed to heed the call of The Luminary.
Undaunted, I have turned to the people I always turn to whenever I find myself in a crisis these days – my beloved wife Nancy and Luminary Office Manager Gale Bay. Together we have recruited Ellen Wilgus, the former co-chair of Taste of Parkville and Christmas on the River, and my sister-in-law Chanin. All of the girls claim to have no experience playing softball. It is of no concern to me because they’re all very, very good looking.
So let this serve notice to you, FOX Channel 4. When The Parkville Luminaries take to the field Saturday, know that you will be facing a squad who has faced bigger foes before and won. We’re the ones who knocked The Dispatch Tribune out of business. We’re the ones who sent The Kansas City Star scrambling back to the drawing board, creating their latest redesign attempt and scaring them into investing in their new multi-million dollar press.
Their efforts, like yours on the softball field, will prove to be in vain.
Now, my Wiffle ® Ball tested smack talking aside, I will take the time to point out that we are all playing for a very important and worthwhile cause.
We’re playing to support St. Luke’s Hospital’s “Missy’s Mirror”— an appearance center that caters to those who have been ravaged by cancer. Missy’s Mirror patients who need post-surgical fittings, including lumpectomy, biopsy and mastectomy; or those who have other appearance needs, can turn to Missy’s Mirror for products and services including, but not limited to, personalized fittings for breast and lumpectomy prostheses, partials, mastectomy bras (by appointment); hats, scarves, wigs; creative colostomy bags; special products for lymphedema patients; post-surgical camisoles; equalizing forms; nightgowns; body care products; audio tapes, books, and videos; swimwear and sun-protective clothing and various other gift items.
The Luminary is always looking to partner with worthwhile local charities and spread awareness for centers like Missy’s Mirror. Put us to the test.
Speaking of gamesmanship, our frontpage features two of the biggest sporting events around – baseball and Missouri politics.
The baseball story you will find on page one was, at least for a small community newspaper like The Luminary, a major production. Mike Morsch, the executive editor of the Montgomery newspaper chain out east, first approached me about the idea of covering former Park Hill South student and Parkville resident Tommy Hottovy’s efforts to reach the Major Leagues sometime last June. He put me in touch with Brad Glazier, the Wilmington Blue Rocks’ staff photographer, who, after settling down from the initial shock of our freelance budget, provided us with the attractive photograph you find on page one. Special thanks also go to Baseball America for providing us with Tommy’s statistics.
I’d like to relate something that Mr. Glazier shared with me regarding Tommy.
When he heard of the project, he shared stories about how Tommy had enthusiastically and genuinely supported the charities the Blue Rocks teamed with, putting in the hours and really reaching out. “Please write a nice story,” Glazier requested, adding that Tommy was a “really great guy.”
“Of course he is,” I replied. “He’s from Parkville…it’s a really great town.”
We’ll continue to follow Tommy’s career – as I understand, he’s the only blue-chip baseball prospect to ever come out of Parkville – and update you on his exploits.
Keep yourself clean, Tommy and keep throwing strikes. You really have a great opportunity ahead of you. Best of luck. You’re going to need it…especially if you find yourself facing me at the plate in an off-season Wiffle® Ball game because I’m gonna bring it.